For those who haven’t been here before.. please know that i am going for a major operation next week. I’m having a hysterectomy and having my fibroids taken out. My fibroids are huge .. and it is making me look like i am 24 weeks pregnant. There is currently some complication with it.. because my hemoglobin is extremely low.. and i’m diabetic. So the risk of me taking the operation is even higher.

Why i didn’t go for the operation earlier..?? I hung on for the longest time.. because my daughter.. Chloe needed alot of attention. With a business to run.. and a child to take care of.. i can’t possibly .. take time off.. and leave everything to PB (the spouse) .. to take care of everything.

Now that Chloe is alot older.. and isn’t an infant no more.. i feel it is time to do it. Of course .. there is still fear.. that i might not come out alive. I am not afraid to die.. but i’m afraid to leave the ones i love behind. Chloe is still very young.. even though she ain’t no infant.. but for PB to raise her on his own.. should something happen .. i don’t dare to think of it.

But i’m a survivor.. !! i am gonna go into the operation with the right frame of mind.. but not without doing everything i can .. in case something does happen. Like making sure that all my finances is taken care of.. and a new will drawn up..and signed by a public notary. I wanna sit down and write a letter to chloe.. just in case.. but i’m too emotional about it.

My surgery is scheduled for Monday. Today .. i’m going in for another blood test and am fasting right now .. and EKG .. and some other visit to the pre-op nurse on Friday. I’ll update as I go. Stay tuned.

The nurses in this town’s hospital.. i’ll have to say.. are really doing a great job.. and more. It was an eye opener for me.. when i went for my blood transfusion for 2 days. I never knew the ambulatory service was such a busy place.. and there were so little nurses taking care of so many people. And little did i know that going in for blood transfusion was not an uncommon thingie.

But the nurses were cheerful.. and even the retired nurse who came back to help relief.. was awfully nice. They even wished me good luck.. and gave me a big hug.. when i left the hospital this morning. Nurses are very important in the health industry.. and most i’ve met were very nice.. not so though.. for the other ppl in the hospital.

Yes..! i got home safe and sound.. and the transfusion went faster than usual. To be honest.. i was quite frightened. Who wouldn’t be right..?? And highly commendable are the nurses in the ambulatory service at the Yarmouth Hospital. Just like my pre-natal nurse .. Joan, they were very professional.. and personable. Thus making my experience a lot less unpleasant.. and in fact i look forward to the one today.

We got to see Godma Lynn today finally.. so it was great..! fortunately, she took the time to come down to town.. an spend an hour with Chloe.. knowing that we had been so busy .. because of my health issues. But guessed what she bought for Chloe..?? Yes..! chinese noodles.. as per the brat’s request..! thank you Godma Lynn..!

I read from another blogging mom’s blog questioning herself if she was a bad mom.. for being on the computer for the whole day… and not playing with her daughter… because the need of her earning the extra money.. because her husband isn’t working. If that at this point of time, would someone say that she was an “awesome mom” or “did a great job with her daughter”. I am sure alot of mummies out there asked themselves this question all the time. And seeing some that churned out plenty of work each day.. means that alot of time is taken away from the kids.

Spending time on the computer .. trying to put food on the table for the family, doesn’t make you a bad mom. But life is short.. and one has gotta learn to prioritize and once you know how to do that.. you’ll be fine. Now you would be a bad mom.. if you were on the computer all day.. neglecting your child.. and cheating the system.. and trying to make a few more bucks that don’t belong to you. Now that would make you a bad mom! There is absolutely nothing wrong in working hard the whole day.. but when you lie and cheat thinking that no one saw you .. well.. you know you are not a good mom at all. How would you face your kid..?? I wouldn’t be proud.. would you..?? Are you a good mom..??