April 29, 2009
School Bully
It had been a rather trying week for us last week because Chloe was punched by a classmate in her pre-school on the chest. At first, we didn’t think too much of it.. till in the evening, when we got home.. and got ready to bathe her .. and i saw a slight bruise on her chest. I asked her about it.. and she said.. it was this boy who punched her on her chest.. but she had already told her teacher about it. As parents, we all know that we first have to find out .. whether our own kid had been bad first .. perhaps, Chloe had provoked the boy. But Chloe said “no” .. and i was abit concern because this is not the first time, this kid had done that to Chloe.
Like all parents, we of course want to teach our kid how to protect herself and after much talking about it.. and explaining to Chloe what she had to do in the future should it happen again, my daughter is so kind hearted and refuses to push her bully away .. but insisted that she was gonna run very quickly to her teacher. I know that in every school and in fact in every class in the future,…. my kid may come across a bully or two.. but that does not mean .. that my kid needs to continue to be the victim right..?? And even though her current teacher tried to put it lightly to us.. about the situation .. i am very worried because my daughter is not taught to hurt others.. nor do we condone roughing around. We want to do the right thing.. but as parents we all know the right thing may not be the best thing or the proper thing to help my daughter.. so what would you do.. if you were in my shoes?
I saw with my own eyes a boy pushed my daughter twice when she tried to put her hands on his shoulder during a queueing up session. Teacher didnt see the incident. My gal cried of course, she not used to such bully… I told her, in case in future it happens or anyone bully or hit her, she needs to go directly to the teacher and tell teacher who bully or hit her, instead of fighting or hit back (which I doubt it)…..I know, they are kids, and they are young, but seeing own daughter been bullied, really make my heart turned to her….and like you said, wanted the right thing for our own kid! :0
Comment by Rose — May 5, 2009 @ 4:02 am
It’s a challenge for all parents on how to deal with bullying of any kind. It’s good that Chloe knows to inform the teacher and her parents. That’s important, the child must feel that she has someone to run to and get support. It’s also good to talk to the teacher, makes them aware that you’re not going to turn a blind eye. If it happens again, and the teacher is still playing it down, I would go to the principal. My eldest girl was bullied too at school a few years ago, she is 10 now. It was not a punch or anything but words that were said about her because of her race. I rang the teacher that same day and then went in to speak to her and worked out a resolution. Of course, with all things there are two sides to the story. But the teacher spoke to the other girl and got to the bottom of it. I was happy with how it was resolved. After that incident, we also had a chat with Ashleigh about being more resilient and how to react in future. You know “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are not going to hurt me”. Good luck!
Comment by Charming — May 5, 2009 @ 9:02 am
Tee gets bullied too. I would watch very closely (talk to Chloe everyday) and ask for the boy’s mother’s phone number and I would even have a word with the boy myself.
Comment by Big Pumpkin — May 5, 2009 @ 11:37 am
Hi, I don’t really have a kid of my own but I thought maybe you would like to have a view on the kid’s perspective. I think I could still remember back in kindie and junior school,I hated it when my mom confronted my classmates or their parents.Everytime she does it, my friends ended up shunning me. I tried once bringing some snacks and went up to the girl who bullied me. Told her I don’t like it when she hits me. I asked if I could play with her and I gave her my chocolate. Maybe you can try asking Chloe to go to school or you can go to school with her, find that boy and prob tell him that Chloe wants to be his friend and would he play with her? See how it goes. If he still hits her, then only you tell the principal.
By the way, I watch movies on your blog. Thanks so much.
BW
Comment by BW — May 5, 2009 @ 1:12 pm
My husband and I spoke about this sometimes when we were talking about sending our daughter to kindy end of this year. So I casually told Bonnie if she ever gets bullied, punch the bully right in between the eyes. Real hard if possible. LOL I know I’m a bad parent. LOL
She’s not in school yet even. Truth be told, I wouldn’t know what to do until it really happens. Don’t worry of course I won’t ask Bonnie to hit. *Maybe I’d go and see the bully myself and threaten him, if he lay another finger on my daughter again I’d go and skin him myself.* Mua ha ha ha
Comment by Syari — May 6, 2009 @ 7:00 am
Hi, this reminds me of what is happening to my daughter (12 years old) now. Her classmate has just been transferred to her class recently. She suffers from “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)”. She shot rubber band & threw books at my girl, chase people around and sms my girl that it is very funny. Sometimes, she knows that she has been naughty but she couldn’t help her. I quite sympathise with her but on the other hand, I am afraid that she might cause injury and distraction to my daughter’s studies in school. She is giving the teachers great headache too. Maybe your daughter’s friend is suffering from this.
Comment by Phing — May 7, 2009 @ 5:47 am
Hi, this reminds me of what is happening to my daughter (12 years old) now. Her classmate has just been transferred to her class recently. She suffers from “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)”. She shot rubber band & threw books at my girl, chase people around and sms my girl that it is very funny. Sometimes, she knows that she has been naughty but she couldn’t help her. I quite sympathise with her but on the other hand, I am afraid that she might cause injury and distraction to my daughter’s studies in school. She is giving the teachers great headache too. Maybe your daughter’s friend is suffering from this.
Comment by Phing — May 7, 2009 @ 5:49 am